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I guess almost everyone has had to deal with trying to remove a stubborn stain out of some type of fabric. The example that comes to mind for me was when my son spilled some black shoe polish on our white carpet. It was quite an eye sore. And it remained an eye sore for a few years. Janet tried everything she could think of to get the stain up. She took on any advice that she thought was worthwhile and still she could not find a product that would do the job. But with persistence and just enough patience to wait for the right answer, she finally found a product that did the job. It might not have been such a big deal if we could have just replaced the carpet like we would have if it had been a shirt or a pair of jeans. But that was not the case. Replacing carpets is not as easy as replacing jeans.

Very often marriage problems can take on the same kind of frustration, only about a thousand times worst. That problem you deal with everyday just keeps staring right back at you. It’s like having to live with a big stain on your living room floor without any answers for what to do about it. You try to talk about it, but you end of feeling more and more frustrated. Each attempt to resolve the problem only seems to make matters worst as conversation turns into argument. Your failed attempt to communicate at this level leaves you feeling lonely, misunderstood, and unloved. For some, this is when they believe it’s time to throw in the towel. If their marriage is going to be like this then they want no part of it.

Now before this gets too heavy, I want to suggest a few ideas for resolving that STUBBORN MARRIAGE PROBLEM.

FIRST a small disclaimer: this is in no way a “fix all” solution. Nor is this an exhausted examination into everything that could be said about dealing with tough marriage issues. There will be plenty more to say as we take on some of those issues on an individual basis here on this blog.

For now though, we want to offer this good ol home remedy that has been proven to do wonders. The product we want to recommend to get rid of that STUBBORN MARRIAGE STAIN is COFHE. Yea I know that looks like a type o, but it is actually an acronym. Don’t blame me either. We have been using this with our MARRIAGE BUILDERS class for some time now. It is part of a series from Dr. Les and Dr. Leslie Parrot called I Love you more. This is what they call their “five not so easy steps to resolve any conflict.” For more information on their work and their material, go to http://realrelationships.com

Ok, let me give a brief description here on this post for what COFHE stands for. Then I want to go into more detail for each letter with the next five post. So here we go.

  • C is for COMMITMENT.    The first step in overcoming trouble in a marriage is commitment. From this solid foundation you can stand firmly together as you face your problem together. 
  • O is for OWNERSHIP.      Ownership is about taking responsibility. Even when you feel the problem is with your spouse, there is still a place for you to take responsibility.
  • F is for FORGIVENESS.     No real mystery here. Forgiveness is a known fact if you want to move forward in your marriage.
  • H is for HOPE.                  Hope is an absolute must if you want to move past the problem and into a better future.
  • E is for EMPATHY.             Finally, empathy is that place where you put your foot in your spouse’s shoe and you look at the situation from their point of view.

I hope this short description of COFHE has been enough to help you and enough to get you to come back for the full breakdown on each one of these points. As we work through this series I believe you will see how each point can make a huge impact. There is so much more to say with each one. So stay tuned.

We would love to hear what you think of “Getting That Stubborn stain Out.” Why not leave us a comment.

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Keep building the marriage you have always wanted!!!