It’s that time of year where men, women, boys and girls, are trying hard to come up with the perfect Valentines Day surprise. Cards are being pick over, gifts are bought, and reservations are made in effort to treat that special person in a way that will reflect how we really feel about them.

I love it, it is a great time to bring our relationships to the forefront of our lives. But, I struggle with the fact that after this day has come and gone, there will be a lot of relationships slipping back into a pattern of taking each other for granted.

This year, why not go beyond the idea of celebrating a day. Why not use this Valentines as a tuning point in your marriage. Wouldn’t it mean so much more if you used this occasion to launch into a whole new way showing your love for each other.

Try putting your marriage on high priority project status.

Now I’m not saying treat your spouse like they are a project and you are going to fix them. But, put your marriage on a make over project status. Don’t just ride out the rest of your days together relying on the work you have put into it in the past. Energize your relationship with new investments.

Start living a life by design by having a marriage by design. Why not have a marriage that you have carefully designed and crafted to be everything it was meant to be, rather than just letting it drift along with no sense of purpose or direction.

Let me throw out a few suggestions on how you can make this investment.

  • Have regular date nights. Once a week, every two weeks, or at least once a month. You can be creative with whatever budget you have to work with, (sometimes Janet and I will just go riding in the country.)
  • Plan some weekend getaways.
  • Surprise each other with gifts even when there is no special occasion. Don’t let money be an issue, (my wife loves it when I bring her a candy bar, just knowing I thought of her is what counts.)

If your relationship needs some help, if you need to learn some new tools.

  • Find a good book on marriage you can read together. We have several on our recommendation list.
  • If you’re not into reading. Get a video series on marriage and use their workbooks. We use several of these in our workshop.
  • Find marriage mentors; a strong couple who would be willing to share some of their wisdom with you.
  • Find a marriage workshop or class that you could attend maybe at your church or somewhere in your community. Like the one we teach at our church.
  • Go to a marriage conference, or a couples retreat with other couples.

I could just keep going with these ideas, but the point is, make the investment to build a strong and lasting relationship. I promise you, it will be worth it.